I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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