I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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