He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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