You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
