i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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