Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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