So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
