Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
