youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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