As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
