That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
NoShamevember. You game?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
