He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
