The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
