I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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