Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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