Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
