Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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