life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
