I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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