billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I have aggressive nipples.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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