do herpes really smell.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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