I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
