Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
