I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
