what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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