Non-Jews are for practice
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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