That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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