dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
