If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I love you.
Bad choice
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
