i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
PANTIES FOUND
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