my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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