google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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