I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He passed out mid-signature
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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