I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
