New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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