How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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