she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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