Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
