Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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