I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
do herpes really smell.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
you made out with another girl for some wings
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
