Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
