i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
