She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
