haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
