the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
