I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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