I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
