david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
