in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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