Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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