What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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