At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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