I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
